Onion: A Real Pain In The Ass

Onion, Onion, Onion! It is bringing bucketful of tears in eyes one more time as the prices are going through the roof. Reining political party at center is worried about skyrocketing prices of this precious commodity so is my aunt. She was suffering from extreme fever for last two days. Fluffy daily soaps, with their chichi sets and overly attired characters, kept her busy during this ordeal. She joyfully engulfed in the medicines prescribed by her favorite doctor who does his practice at Kamla Nagar in North Delhi. But no sooner did she hear the news of onion price climbing sharply, she fell ill again. Her temperature witnessed meteoric rise before the news bulletin ended on TV. Of course, it all happened due to the shock!
“It is not in our hands, sister,” one of my lady neighbors and aunt’s friend of sort opined. “I heard that our government sends all big, broad pyaaz to other countries. That is why now we don't have enough pyaaz in our Indian mandis." 
“Hmm… I agree,” another lady pitched in. “Even Pappu’s papa thinks so. She expressed her deep concerns over the rising prices. Later she tried to shift the direction of the discussion to the latest story development in Balika Badhu, which no one was interested in at that point of time. Surprisingly Ghar ka budget seemed more important than Balika Badhu’s mushy saga.
This political discussion over rising onion prices piqued the interest of my ailing aunt, who had stepped out of her room to join the gaggle of her friends from the locality. “Prices have doubled since I visited the market before two weeks,” my aunty crooned, coughing ferociously.
“I have asked Mohit’s papa that I won’t compromise with the quantity of pyaaz in my sabzi. What is a sazbi without pyaaz? It is so insipid and tasteless!” the first lady said, filling air in her nose.
Rising prices of onion has brought tears in the eyes of women in my locality-across the entire country to be more precise. Along with common man, our government is worried as onion prices are notoriously famous for turning political tables. Government is hopeful it will come up with solutions to curb the surging prices.
The humble staple is blessed with immense power. It has played a significant role in storming Indian politics. History also suggests that little onion has been unapologetically neutral to various governments. It is nobody’s kith and kin. It has always been a real pain in the ass for the government. So much so, the soring onion prices led to the fall of the Janata Party government in the year of 1981.  It has showed its true colors after some intervals.
My uncle is planning to visit the nearest Azaadpur Sabzi Mandi coming Sunday to buy a sack of onion. Is there a need to tell that he is following aunt’s commands? Tomorrow is Independence Day, a national holiday. So if you get some free time after flying kites and watching parade on television, do take a round of your closest market and buy some onion before it crosses rupees hundred mark. Gift onion to your mom! She will be extremely delighted and feel proud of you. And why only to your mom! You can even gift a big sack filled with onion to your pyari sister on this Rakshbandhan. Gifting Cadbury pack is such an old-fashioned way of celebrating Rakshbandhan. Do something different and unique. Gift your lovely sister "a sack of onion."  


  1. A Hilarious way of presenting a story on Onions.

    1. Thank you, Kanika. You won't believe but this is a real one! :P


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